DEAR DOC
   I’m thinking about getting me one of those blow-up penis things so I can go all night, wherever  and whenever my girlfriend wants “It” – if you know what I mean!
   Trouble is, I fly a lot which is I why I need your advice.
.   First, will this penis gizmo set off any airport security devices?  Like I know they’re making these things a whole lot more sensitive to all kinds of stuff and I don’t want to be suspected of being some kind of sex-crazed Arab (think Underwear Bomber).
   Second, once we’re at a cruising altitude of say, 35,000 feet, the air pressure in the cabin (even in First Class) is way lower than on the ground. So does this mean my blow-up penis thing will inflate itself and give me a bogus boner during a regular flight aboard a commercial aircraft – which could be, like,  a real downer?
   Please respond, as my girlfriend is really getting pushy about me be able to go all note with a blow-up penis thing.
FREQUENT FLYER

DEAR FREQUENT
   Frankly, being blessed with a member mightier than a towering sequoia, I’ve never done any research involving what you call a “blow up penis thing.”  (Actually, the proper term is “penile implant.”)
   But in any event,  I strongly suggest you take this up with BOTH the surgeon who will install your inflatable penile implant as well as the manufacturer of the device -- as the basic dynamics of air pressure suggest you could have a problem.
   Also, you might want to talk to your girlfriend about buying an industrial strength vibrator driven by the same motor used by the US Navy to chip rusting paint off  the hulls of ships (although you may want to have her select the speed that works best for her.).
   Finally, I’ve attached both a detailed illustration plus an excellent video  to help you and your girlfriend understand the  workings of the inflatable device you’re considering.  
D.W. Momerath, MD
                  
Cabin Pressure Could Be A Problem!